It Was Worse, Way Worse

W is for Wednesday and Weigh-in and Worse, Way Worse!

Last night I realized that today is Wednesday so Weigh-in day was coming! Yay! Weigh-in day! I could officially begin to chart my progress as I lose 20 lbs to become an incredibly hot 47 year old! I want to weigh myself! I look forward to seeing those digital red numbers light up and tell me, "yes Maggie you're fat but not for long!"

I haven't been doing too well on the "get up without hitting the snooze" resolution. I need the snooze. And I'm not going to judge myself on my snooze habits. If I snooze, so be it. Even with a snooze and an actual resetting of the alarm, I was out of bed before 6:30 this morning (Weigh-in Day morn), into the shower, washing any heavy dirt off me to prep for the Weigh-in. I got out of the shower, dried myself thoroughly with my new towel, even towel-dried my hair in case there were any heavy water droplets left on it. Then, like the little bird that I am, I lit upon the scale.

I'm an emu.

What kind of bird would you be if your were a bird? I'm an emu. Put a bird on it? I put an EMU on my scale this morning. The scale in all its digital wisdom recognized that fact. The scale told me the truth: "hey you fat ass emu, go take some laps and put down the mashed potatoes."

Now I know why the Sparkpeople are such cheery and upbeat weight loss boosters, because if you don't have a non-flagging optimism about losing weight, you will just say "fuck it" and go eat a brick of cheese and some M&Ms.So it turns out that SparkGuy (that's his handle) knows a little something about weight loss, fitness and motivation. If nothing else, Sparkpeople is like a video game I can play everyday and I get points, don't forget the Sparkpoints! I'm up to Level 3 in my Sparkpoints but as far as I know, I don't have any Sparkgoodie points so I will not be able to get myself a virtual facial or virtual massage.


I had something else to write about, now I can't remember what it is. I need butter and Diet Coke. No, that's not it. But I do need butter and Diet Coke. Emus love mashed potatoes, butter and Diet Coke.